Two weeks ago I began blogging for giggle on their giggle gurus blog. The blog is titled Sweet Dreams, and as you may well have guessed, the topic is sleep. This blog is in great company with some other fantastic blogs authored by a great network of experts in other arenas, such as child development, organization, healthy eating and creating a green nursery. Please head on over and check them out.
It is that time of year again – the days are getting longer and our long-awaited travel plans are ready to be executed. Whether your plans include travel to distant places or places within an hour or two by car, the impact to your children can be the same – lost sleep!
Children are all such creatures of habit. They like routines and familiarity. This is precisely why our travels are often interrupted by our children’s sudden change in sleep habits, as well as other behavioral changes, such a potty accidents or eating less well. Of course it’s reassuring to know that this is normal, but even more helpful (I hope) are the tips that follow.
Prepare your child for the trip
It can be hard to know exactly how much our children understand at a young age because their receptive language skills (what they understand from us) develop in advance of their expressive language skills (what they communicate to us). As a general rule, I would argue that most children understand more than we give them credit for.
I raise this point because I find it very important to let children know that there is a change of routine coming. Invite their participation in preparing for the trip as much as you can, given their age. For tots 12-18 months this means just talking about going on a trip and saying bye-bye to the pets or house as you leave. With a slightly older child you can help to prepare them by letting them share the responsibility of packing their bag, specifically the things they need for sleep. This might include a cherished blanket, pacifier, tub toys, white noise machine and favorite bedtime books
Bring the unwashed crib sheet
A familiar scent can be particularly comforting for children when they are away from home. As such, I often recommend bringing along the unwashed crib sheet from home for your baby to sleep on. For older toddlers, this is not nearly as important. If you’re planning to use a pack n’ play, sleep with the fitted sheet that fits the pack ‘n play mattress so it has your familiar and comforting scent.
Unpack together
When you arrive at your destination, spend a few minutes getting the room where your child(ren) will sleep ready. This means setting up the crib/pack ‘n play with the sheet you brought from home and any other sleep aids you may have brought with you (white noise machine, monitor). Have your child with you while you do this. Explain to them that this is where they are going to be sleeping.
Also, take a few minutes to unpack the toys and books you brought along. Play with your child in the room for at least 10-15 minutes so they develop a sense of familiarity and comfort, as well as a positive association with the space.
Leave extra time for your bedtime routine
Since most children are at least a little uneasy about falling asleep in a new environment, it makes good sense to devote extra time at the end of the day winding your child down for sleep. Ten or fifteen extra minutes should suffice. While the order of the routine should remain the same, you might spend a little extra time reading and/or snuggling.
Stay on schedule
I know that one of the great things about being on vacation is being spontaneous and free from scheduling. Unfortunately, children really do much better when they have a schedule that is predictable every day. Therefore, it works best when you are able to keep the routine of your daily schedule when you’re away from home. Of course, you should be able to have a late night here and there, but to the extent that you can preserve your schedule, the better your child will sleep and behave.
Adjust for time zone changes
Unless you intend to be gone for a week or longer, I don’t generally advise changing time zones. Instead, keep your child on local time. If your trip is a week or longer and you’ll be in a different time zone, here is how to proceed:
traveling west: This is always the hardest direction of travel for time changes. You’ll need to stretch your child a little bit every day to get closer to your normal schedule per the local clock. Children one-year-old and older can likely stretch one hour each day (less for younger babies). The first few days, however, they will have a very early bedtime and an early start to the day, per the local clock. The stretching begins from the time they first wake up until their first nap. If that interval is normally 2.5 hours, then you’ll try to make it 3 hours. You will stretch another half hour in the afternoon. By the end of the day, you should have gotten their bedtime one hour later than the night before. Proceed until you get them on local time, or as close to it as you deem reasonable given the length of the trip.
traveling east: This is much easier. Simply put your child to bed at their regular bedtime at home (this will be later per the local clock) and wake your child up the next morning at the normal wake up time per the local clock. This means your child will be shortchanged on sleep that night by the total number of time zones crossed. Proceed with your normal schedule per the local clock.
Above all, enjoy yourselves.
A recent short piece in the New York Times Magazine titled “Infant Sleep is Destiny” showcased the research of Bernier and Carlson. In their research they concluded that there is a longer term effect of infant sleep deprivation (aside from the immediate effect on executive functioning). They reported that as toddlers, the same babies who didn’t get good quality sleep as infants showed signs of lingering effects to their executive functioning. I disagree with the article’s closing comment about there not being anywhere to turn to get advice about what to do if you have a poor sleeper. Helping sleepy babies and toddlers (+ parents) is precisely what we do well!
It’s daylight savings time again. This time of year I receive many calls from parents wondering how to keep their child from getting up way too early in the morning. Worry not, these simple tips for babies (6 months and older) and toddlers will help you stay on track with your good sleep habits. Give your children a few days to settle in to the new time.
1. Put your child(ren) to bed on Saturday night (10/31) at the regular time.
2. Wake up with your child(ren) at the normal wake up time on Sunday morning (11/1).
3. Set your clocks back one hour. This is where you stretch.
4. Put your child(ren) down for the first nap at the regular time per the clock.** This will mean that s/he has been awake a full hour longer during this window and may need some help to stretch. Going outside and getting lots of sunlight and fresh air is a great way to keep kids awake when you’re stretching them.
5. Follow the clock for naps and bedtime from here forward. It can take a few days for your child to fully adjust, so be patient and consistent.
**Younger children may have a harder time stretching a full hour without becoming overtired. In this case it may be better to stretch them 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon or to stretch them slowly over several days.
Shortly after the birth of my first daughter, my husband and I hemmed and hawed about whether to introduce a pacifier. We worried that our daughter would have nipple confusion or become addicted and we’d one day have to pull it and go through a torturous withdrawal process. Well, no nipple confusion, but she did most definitely fall in love with the pacifier. This love affair ended up being such a great thing for her and getting rid of the pacifier was so much less painful than we had imagined.
So, when our second daughter was born this summer, we quickly reached for the pacifier as our trusty soothing device. Much to our dismay, she spat out each and every one and would only suck on our fingers. We tried and tried and tried. On one particularly bad night I ran to the internet looking for the pacifier that would allow my daughter the sucking for soothing she clearly needed that was neither our finger or my breast. And I found it. It’s called the Gumdrop Pacifier.
I am a firm believer that babies need to suck for soothing and that this is one way to trigger the soothing reflex. If you are one of those parents who worries that there is something wrong with using a pacifier, I would argue that you could be doing your child a big favor and could find yourself having a more contented baby.
Aden + Anais, the maker of all those adorable muslin wraps and blankets we see in and on strollers around town have extended their product line to include sleep sacks. I, for one, am happy to see another lightweight sleep sack on the market.
Probably not. I am frequently asked by perplexed parents of children who don’t seem to sleep as much as other children they know or have heard of if it’s possible that they have one of those children who just needs less sleep than another. And while it is true that not everyone’s sleep needs are identical, the fact is that what we often try to pass off as enough sleep is simply too little. A recent New York Times Article, “Distractions May Shift, but Sleep Needs Don’t” points out this tendency to assume our child is one of the exceptions when it works better for the family schedule. This is a growing problem as children get older and have busy lives packed with social event and activities.
“The literature really strongly suggests the average early to mid-adolescent needs 9 to 9.25 hours a night,” said Dr. Judith Owens, an associate professor of pediatrics at the Alpert Medical School of Brown University, who directs the Pediatric Sleep Disorders Clinic at Hasbro Children’s Hospital.
She quickly headed off my question about children — or adults — who don’t need that much sleep. “It’s a bell-shaped curve,” she said, with just 2.5 percent of the population needing significantly less sleep than average.
“The problem,” she went on, “is that 95 percent of us think we’re in that 2.5 percent. You should assume until proven otherwise that your kid needs that much sleep.”
Wonder bumpers, by Go Mama Go Designs, are a lovely solution for parents who are aware of the dangers of traditional crib bumpers, but would like to soften the sleeping environment for those active infants and toddlers who are all over the crib. Like so many other great products created in the parenting market, wonder bumpers were created by moms.
Wohoo! It’s time for more day light! I know this means one less hour of sleep on Saturday night, BUT it could mean little junior sleeps in an “extra” hour too! Here are my tips on handling this transition (which is MUCH easier than the fall time change).
1. Put your child to bed on Saturday night at the usual bedtime.
2. Change your clocks so they are one hour ahead.
3. Set your alarm to get you up at the usual wake up time and wake your child up to start the day (this means one less hour of sleep for your child). OR, for those early risers, let them sleep in and take this opportunity to get them on a slightly later schedule.
4. Put your child down for naps and bedtime according to the time on the clock.
As a sleep specialist, I run into MANY toddlers who cannot tell time and decide to start their day (and their parents!) at very early hours. For those of you readers who may fall into this category, there is a product on the market that was recently brought to my attention that might teach your child to stay in bed (asleep or awake) until the time you designate. This product is called the Good Nite Light and retails for $35 – a small price for another hour or two of shut-eye each morning. Of course, if that’s not sufficient to fix your problem, give us a call, we can help!
